April 27th, 2014

I remember when I was little and my father was self destructing on drugs while he was selling them. I was going through some drawers and I found his will that he wrote and hid from me and my sister. I realized at that time, he was scared and accepted death even before his own family. I remember crying while reading it because it said that his belonging would be split between his children and that he loved them very much. I never did ask him yet why he would do the things he did while he was a child growing up. I have lately been doing a lot of drugs but I hope that I never turn out the way he did. I live on my own, I have a full time job and I think I'm doing good for myself. Though I still feel that ache of depression. But I'll power through it because I always do.

April 12, 2014

Well, I'm gonna be living on my own now by Wednesday. Maybe it's a good thing but maybe it's not. It will leave me with a lot of alone time to collect my thoughts and I don't know if that's smart but maybe it's the way things should be. I have been abusing pain killers lately and I've noticed that I like the way I feel but I'm very very angry on them and happy when I ain't on them. I probably will have to stop taking them if I wanna live my life not in prison. Me and a close friend of mine have decided to start a business in technology repair. I came up with amazing ideas. It's a good thing. I'm actually walking very close to the road right now hoping a car hits me and kills me but hey, we don't get what we wish for. Here's to a good year. It will either be very good or very bad.