Though I have been very weird feeling lately, it is because of the girl. I have also been late on rent for the first time because my bank account was closed and they had no way to pay me. But this girl, she shouldn't be the first thing on my mind right now but she is. Though, she is also seeing other guys at the same time so our relationship is usually friend based with sex. I promise to get an appartment with her in September, which would give me time to save up money to move in with her. I think it might be a bad idea in some ways but I also think it might be a good idea. She has actually admitted to me that she loved me so, i am not sure what to think. I am trying like hell to keep my guard up but I am easly conflicted. I may like her alot but she will be going to be spending time with another guy this weekend so, I am going to try to keep my feelings in check. She may not know how I truely feel but I think I am ok with that. The way she is, I think it would be best if we kept our relationship the way it was and if it ever did come down to the way that she didnt wanna be without me, we would take it from there but I am not sure I can see myself getting married to her but I know I can see a very good friendship between me and her because we think alot in the same ways. I am on the verge of getting kicked out of my current residence because I havent paid. Hopefully, she will wait for next friday when I do get paid and I wont be so stressed. Actually, I think that right now is the major part of my stress, but now since the money problem is gone, I believe my stress levels should lower. The only other thing that will cause me stress will be this girl but hopefully once I fix everything else, the stress from her wont feel so bad and I will be able to take it again. Lets just hope...
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