Today I noticed my sick mind. There was a bug on the floor at work and he was crawling in water for his life. I kept putting water on him and crushing him with a bucket and watching him suffer. I did it for about 5 minutes until I came to my senses. I also had a fight with my soulmate today. I'm not sure if she feels the same way about me as I have felt about her for the longest time. Ever since I met her I loved her but she was wih someone else at the time. I told her that I will marry her but i am not sure if she believes it. I have no way of proving to her how serious I am unless I buy her a ring and call it square. I almost did a stalk tonight. I was so close to painting my shoes black and going but I decided I needed rest because I work the next 10 days. I really do love her alot but I have no way to prove to her. I wish she knew. Also, with the other girl, she now has a boyfriend and she told me she didnt wanna be friends anymore. She avoids me now but I still text her sometimes. She plays it off as she hates me but she told me she loves me. All I wanna be is friends with her but she just has strong feelings for me and can't accept it. I wish she did. I think I will buy a ring for my soulmate. I never see her anymore though but I want her to know how deeply I love her. I love her with all my heart and she will always have it.
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