I haven't posted in a while. I have been on pain pills and I noticed that when I don't take them, I get depressed. Almost back to my old ways and feeling emotions again. I gotta get away from that. Emotions are always trouble. Just like finding out my most recent ex girlfriend, the one I will always be in love with, lied to me a million times. But maybe she didn't and I am supposed to believe what she says. She aborted my child but I guess it was my decision. Funny thing though, I haven't seen her since then and she has been distant and I am drawing conclusions that she never got it aborted and she is hiding a child from me. But what if she isn't? I'm also starting to think people at work are giving me the very easy road but do I deserve it? I show no affection to anyone but maybe that's my problem. While walking 7 miles home though, my mind does wander. Almost got into writing a long story. I probably will eventually write this story because it's a very awesome idea. These ideas always hit me so maybe I should write them down. Well I'm 24 years old now and maybe I should start being more adult about things and realizing that maybe I should focus on the things that make me feel good and not focus on rising above on the things that make me crazy. Good luck, I will tell myself as I remove the knife from my skin.
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