When I see an attractive girl, I wonder to myself how can I get someone like that? I'm not a very good looking dude. My love of my life decided she didn't wanna marry me after our break. Also, I do feel my head spinning in aggressive thoughts more often. Maybe that's the cause of all my pain and crazy. That lust for women and to be with someone. Maybe I should not be with anyone. I wonder how all of this pain would have started. People are supposed to heal from a broken heart. All I did was adapt and embrace. I have tried going to mental clinics but they never help. I believe they just made me more crazy. I hung with people who really did have problems. I was locked with them. That probably changed my state of mind a little, locking me with people who have snapped. I snapped a long time ago. Probably about the time where my stepfather used to abuse me. He has no idea how much I want him dead or how much I think he should just disappear. If only he could just relive everything he did to me from my point of view. I wouldn't have to find pictures of him smiling. He would be dead. I would be the one smiling. Him dead would be a masterpiece.
No comments:
Post a Comment